I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
