I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
