butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
