come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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