I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
