Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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