That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
