what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
