it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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