I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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