I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
