i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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