too bad you live with your parents still
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just invented taco cereal.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
