Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
