Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
