I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
