There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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