I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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