I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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