guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Drunk is a universal language darling
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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