Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
