Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
