His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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