maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
