The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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