What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
