I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
