Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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