Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
