All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
