Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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