when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
