I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
