and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Two words: nipple clamps
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