And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i now understand why vodka
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
