Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He has the fingertips of a God
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