We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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