I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Panties = found
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
