Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
