Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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