On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I love black thongs
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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