Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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