I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
