saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
