so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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