We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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