Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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