he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
