i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
