This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
