i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
